Tuesday, January 14, 2014

Tell-All Tuesday: I think I'm a Bit of a Pessimist

I hate to admit this, because I would much rather be that happy-go-lucky, not a care in the world, go with the flow kind of girl that everyone loves to be around. The word pessimist just isn't that appealing, but it is something I am guilty of time and time again. I think it has to do with my worrying and anxiety. I tend to be that person that instantly jumps to the worst case scenario conclusions in any given situation, whether it be in my head or vocalized. This often leads to unnecessary worrying and complaining about various possible (and let's be honest, sometimes probably not too possible) undesirable things that haven't even happened yet. 

A good example, and one that got me thinking about this topic in the first place, is this particular vacation to Hawaii I am currently on that is rapidly coming to an end. Today is my last whole day here in paradise, and with the scenarios I had vividly painted in my head of what this trip was going to be like, I assumed that I would be looking forward to this day all week long. Boy was I wrong! I am so not ready to leave this place. 
My view right now as I write this, and when I ate breakfast for the last 5 mornings, and pretty much just any time I want to be out here...

I already painted a picture of what I thought the flight to Hawaii would be like in my last post, but I had also fabricated an entire "vacation" filled with an uncontrollable, screaming toddler that needs a nap, but refuses to take one all day long. There are stairs that I can't keep her off of, and I'm a sweaty mess chasing her up and down and up and down, and the second I turn my head to sneeze she is at the bottom and ready for the emergency room. She is screaming in defiance with every piece of food I present her because it is not a graham cracker, and is impossible to even attempt to feed without a high chair. She has a lobster-red sunburn and is breaking out all over from the sunscreen. She eats handfuls of sand, and gets violently swept away in the ocean as I am eaten by a shark. The list goes on and on...and on. 

The truth is, Ellie pleasantly surprised me on the airplane. We woke her up at about 3:15 am, and she didn't sleep a wink on the car ride up to the airport. Our flight left around 7:30 am, and Ellie was quite mesmerized by the whole airplane experience. 

One of her favorite activities for the duration of the flight was opening and closing our window screen. Why did I stuff a backpack full of toys and food again? She exclaimed "weeeee" as we took off and landed, as well as for any turbulence in between as I clutched the armrests with white knuckles and Kelci reassured me it was going to be okay. Ellie made a new friend on the flight, a one year old little cutie named Sylvester that sat right behind us. She enjoyed flirting with him and exchanging toys while telling him "no no no" which is her favorite little saying these days. She was fighting sleep from the beginning, but eventually gave in and took a short nap towards the end of the flight, which was nice for all three of us. 

I was pretty much in heaven. This kid NEVER sleeps on me anymore. I guess I just have to force her into it :) 
Vacation here on land has been amazing. Ellie has surprised me the entire time, and while she has had her moments she has done so well. She has really been a flexible little traveler, and adapted to a busy schedule with limited naps so well. She loves the beach! Kevin's grandma has made everything so much easier with toys, a stroller, a crib, familiar foods, and just being an overall amazing hostess.  Having Kelci along acting pretty much as my personal nanny hasn't been so bad either ;) I'm so grateful to have her here with me. 

In the end, I have found that I have once again done an abundance of pointless worrying and complaining about nothing. So why don't I ever learn?? Something to work on I suppose. Back to reality and cold rain tomorrow :( I'm going to go enjoy the beach while I can! 

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