18 Weeks

How far along: 18 weeks 

The Bambean's size: 5.6 inches, 6.7 ounces. Baby is as big as a sweet potato.

Maternity clothes: Still loving my pj's and sweatshirts. If I go out in public I am feeling better in maternity tops and jeans. I am really wanting to find a few good dresses and skirts for the whale of a summer days ahead!

Sleep: A lot of tossing and turning this last week. I keep waking up on my back, and although my doctor said not to worry about it too much and that my body will shift on it's own before any harm is really done it still makes me nervous.

Cravings/aversions: Craving American Dream's Edward Abbey pizza and sour candy.

Pregnancy Symptoms: Soooooo hungry!! I can already tell my balance is shifting too as my belly grows.

Best moment(s) this last week: Enjoying a walk at Peavy Arboretum with Kevin, Ellie and Winston. Also picking out and ordering summer clothes for Ellie, H&M had a really great sale and I couldn't help myself!

I'm so excited about this romper!!

Movement: Still a lot of it and I am still loving it. Baby does not appreciate it when I bend over or curl up on the couch and protests with kicks and jabs :) Unfortunately Bambean's favorite place to kick already is my bladder.

Gender Prediction: I still think team blue, but there is a lot of time to finalize my prediction.

Belly button in or out: In.

Happy or moody: Mostly happy! 

Looking forward to: Seeing my seester Sara in April! Also, she is moving back to the west coast again!!! 

Bumpity Bump:

Beans, Beans, Beans

Sometimes I find myself scanning Pinterest in search of new ideas for how to keep Ellie busy, but I quickly get overwhelmed with stuff, or start to question whether or not I am giving Ellie enough variety in her life to make sure she is reaching her full learning potential, or worst of all, and most commonly, drooling over dessert recipes that I really don't need to be thinking about. Doing the same thing over and over with the same toys over and over in the same spot over and over can become a bit mundane, and while it is a well known fact that toddlers appreciate a schedule and love repetition, this isn't always the case when it comes to keeping them entertained for a prolonged period of time. I always love the idea of a classic gooey sensory bin, or playing with some sort of home-made play dough type of concoction, or even painting. Then I visualize the mess that would be created within approximately the first five seconds of any of these activities, and I usually decide to save something like this for a different day when I have ample time and energy for cleaning up and bathing Ellie.

One of the simplest activities that Ellie LOVES to do, and that keeps her busy for quite some time, is playing with dry beans. It is so simple, yet because it is not something that she gets to do every day, and because the textures and noises are just intriguing to her, it keeps her attention. Also, while the beans quite obviously don't stay in the bowls or cups they are originally presented in, they are so easy to clean up when it is time, no bathing or wet-wipes required. I must admit that I (often with the help of my cat, Balto) do usually find a little bean that was left behind even a few days after the activity has taken place, but a bean or two under a table or in a couch never really hurt anyone :)

I think it would be fun to have one of those water tables that are specifically made for play with water or something like rice or beans, but any tubs, bowls or cups will do. With our lack of space it just wouldn't make sense to have something big like that to have to store anyway. Then we just add spoons, measuring cups, various toys, etc. and I get to enjoy some down time with my little toddler, which has been something I can really appreciate these days. I love to watch her happily think and explore :)

17 Weeks

How far along: 17 weeks

The Bambean's size: 5.1 inches, 5.9 ounces. Baby is as big as an Onion.

Maternity clothes: Definitely need maternity pants, mixing my normal tops and maternity tops. Let's be honest though, most days I spend at home in my pajama pants and a sweatshirt :)

Sleep: I am still sleeping fairly well. I usually wake up around 6 am and have a hard time falling back asleep as hard as I may try, but it kind of makes sense considering the old-timer hours I have been heading to bed at lately. 

Cravings/aversions: Nothing new.

Pregnancy Symptoms: Belly's getting big :) acne :( Also I feel like I could eat a horse at any moment in time.

Best moment(s) this last week: Enjoying the sunshine and warmer weather with walks and parks with Ellie. Also we got to go to a really fun and beautiful baby shower today, it was amazing and so fun to get out and see people.

Movement: Lots of it and I am loving it. Still happening mostly when I am sitting or laying down though.

Gender Prediction: Still thinking it is a little man. No dreams or anything though.

Belly button in or out: In.

Happy or moody: Pretty happy these days.

Looking forward to: Our next ultrasound and appointment, even though it is 3 weeks away. I can't wait to see the little bambean again and have a chat with my doctor to hopefully see if my due date is looking right or not.  

Bumpity Bump:

Tell-All Tuesday: Today is Grace's Due Date

Today has been, as expected, a pretty hard day. Not as hard as I have been anticipating it to be though. I guess I never really expected her to make her big debut exactly on today anyway, so it has really just been the last month or so in general that has been tough all around, knowing that she could have been here this day, or that day. Seeing so many other little newborns making their way into the world, but not mine. Adorable names, first photos, first sibling moments. Today was once a day I looked forward to. The day that my pregnancy app counted down to. The day on my calendar that I would check periodically and count days and weeks from while attempting to guess when my baby would actually make it's appearance.

Now it is a day to remember her by. Kevin lit her candle this morning, and it will burn all day long. I have thought about her a lot, and have been giving Ellie extra hugs, kisses and I love you's. I can't help but wonder what she would have been like. Would she have looked like Ellie?

I find that it has really been awkward when strangers ask me that all too familiar question of "is this your first baby?" My answer so far has simply been "no, it is my third." I'm not sure why it feels so strange. She will always be my second baby, even if I don't get to hold her, or see her or talk to her. I am hoping this will get easier with time.

I love her so very much, and I always will.

16 Weeks

I hope to keep up with my weekly pregnancy progress on here. I HOPE to :) Both to share with others, but also for myself to look back on later. In the past I have done the weekly bump photo updates, but this time around I think it will be fun to track my progress with little facts and happenings about each week. I am pretty excited!

How far along: 16 weeks 1 day today, but I am still convinced that I am really 17 weeks. ;)

The Bambean's size: 4-5 inches, 3-5 ounces. Baby is as big as an Avocado!

Maternity clothes: Psh, I think I was in them maternity jeans at about 10 weeks this time around. I pretty much had just hardly stopped wearing them since last time. I suppose they aren't lying when they say you will show sooner with each subsequent pregnancy. I haven't quite jumped in with the maternity tops just yet, but sweatshirts are definitely my best friend during this "is that a baby or beer gut?" stage.

Sleep: I have been sleeping pretty well. I am finally only getting up about 2 to 3 times a night now to use the bathroom, so that has helped a lot. Falling back asleep during the first 13 weeks of the pregnancy was pretty much pointless knowing that I would feel Niagara Falls coming on again within 15 minutes or so, only to find that my super inconvenient trip to the bathroom had resulted in nothing more than a trickle. I probably could have cried more liquid in tears from being so tired, hormonal and just wanting to SLEEP. If my memory is correct this fun little game will return at some point later on, but for now I am enjoying all of the uninterrupted sleep I can get.

Cravings/aversions: I have been craving stir fry, strawberries, cereal, SOMEONE PLEASE BRING ME A SCONE! Seriously though, I want a scone and coffee pretty much every day.

Pregnancy Symptoms: Well the growing belly is a pretty obvious one. My nausea is pretty much gone completely, and while my fatigue is deciding to stick around it is definitely much less intense now. Not too much else going on.

Best moment(s) this last week: Sharing seeing the little nugget looking like a baby and not just a blob on an ultrasound with the love of my life. Also hearing from the doctor that everything looked great on that same ultrasound.

Movement: Call me crazy, but I am pretty sure I felt this little person around 12 or 13 weeks this time! I have felt a few weak jabs this week, especially if I am able to sit still and really concentrate on it.

Gender Prediction: I have been thinking boy from the start. Nothing really in particular to explain this except that I have been less sick this time, and I just feel that the odds of making 3 girls in a row are against us. I suppose my parents did it though so who knows! Also Kevin informed me of a dream he had where I had the baby and it was a boy. It was also a flesh colored elephant, but a boy flesh colored elephant for sure.

Belly button in or out: In.

Happy or moody: Both. Although I'm sure Kevin would argue moody even when I say happy :)

Looking forward to: Meeting new baby Hadley and seeing her sweet little family tonight!

Bumpity Bump:

Round 3

I can't believe it has been an entire month since I have been on here! Actually, I kind of can. There has obviously been a lot going on here for us. I am over the moon excited about having the miracle of life happening inside of me once again, but at the same time it has also been a whirlwind of scary and unpredictable thoughts and emotions. Not to mention doing two first trimesters of a pregnancy in a row has been a little bit exhausting to say the least. Did I love seeing those two pink lines on that pregnancy test that I couldn't wait just a few more days to take? Absolutely. I wanted it so badly it hurt. Did it also remind me of the little baby that was supposed to still be growing in my tummy? Of the time that I went to see Kevin for lunch and surprised him with a positive pregnancy test in a paper bag? Of the thoughts and expectations of Ellie with a new baby in her life? All of it and more. Did I smile ear to ear and have my full heart filled up even more with love than I thought ever possible when I saw that little being dancing around on the ultrasound? You bet. But that same heart that is full of love also ached in pain from the little hole that Grace left in it as I remembered her in the exam room. And I almost passed out from holding my breath in fear as I waited to see what that tiny new baby would look like on the screen. I over analyzed every movement, every still photo snapped, every length of time spent examining. That has just been the reality of things this third time around. Any exciting and joyful event one would experience with a pregnancy has also been accompanied by sheer terror and an array of sad thoughts. I miss the naive innocence I had with my pregnancy with Ellie. I miss Grace.

But I am pregnant again, and I am so very excited. I have been going back and forth for some time now, wanting to shout my news from the rooftops one moment and then wanting to keep it a secret until I am holding a baby in my arms the next.

I had this announcement all ready for Valentine's Day but then chickened out.

We found out we were expecting again on December 8th. It was so fun to actually take the test with Kevin and Ellie there, since it happened by myself the last two times. We both had a good feeling about it, and even though it was still a few days early, I convinced Kevin to take me to the store to buy a stick.

I had the first appointment an agonizing three and a half weeks later, on New Year's Eve. It was a bit stressful since Kevin had just accepted his new job and I had to go alone. All went well, but the tiny nugget was measuring a little bit smaller than we had thought. My due date was set for August 23rd.

Our little summer babe! Or blob. I still love that blob just the same though.

My amazing vacation to Hawaii was met with some unwanted, yet expected, morning sickness and fatigue. Having Kelci there was seriously a life saver. Some might say that I shouldn't complain, that I should be happy to have felt these things because it meant that I was pregnant. I say that's not fair, and I am going to bitch about it like anyone else might ;) nausea and exhaustion are not fun! Is it all worth it in the end though? Of course, it is more than worth it.

About 9 weeks in beautiful, sunny Hawaii.

12 weeks.

14 weeks.

15 weeks.

I have been feeling pretty good so far with this pregnancy. Aside from some normal nausea and wanting to take a nap for pretty much just the rest of my life, as well as the added nerves, it has all been going smoothly. I just can't wait for August when I can meet this little person at last.

The bebe. We have been calling it Bambean because we don't know whether to put an a or an o on the end :)